


Now I See Your Face

by Skye Loughlin (Fandomoverload5)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: M/M, The High school AU nobody asked for, What Happens After, lance gets super wasted on Halloween, little bit ooc but, lots of unnamed characters that don’t matter, oh well, trigger warning: suicide attempt, trigger warning: suicide mention
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-28
Updated: 2018-11-28
Packaged: 2019-09-02 02:17:26
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16777663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fandomoverload5/pseuds/Skye%20Loughlin
Summary: Lance gets very out-of-his-mind wasted on Halloween night. After an afternoon of fights with his closest friends, he can feel his heart being shredded right in front of his eyes.When he drunkenly makes out with a mutual friend whose face he couldn’t remember, Lance couldn’t get his mind off the stranger.





	1. Missing Moments

Oh god how am I feeling it already?

Lightweight McClain spun his head to look at the small group of friends in his circle. After a good three gulps of straight rum, and three cups of mystery alcohol provided by his ever responsible friends, Lance was starting to lose it. 

The last thing he remembers is grabbing two cups for himself and his drinking partner Hunk, then ignoring Hunk and chugging them both as Hunk grabbed a cup for himself. Lance could already feel the room spinning and, quite frankly, didn’t care. That afternoon his long time best-friend had started a friendship ending fight, which gave closure to weeks worth of unprovoked cold shoulders and anger. Lance, already being at the lowest point in his life, decided that he wasn’t planning on going out that Halloween, and was planning to drink the rum that had been in his car for weeks alone in his house. 

When he offered to drive Hunk and his arm candy to a party thrown by a classmate, he said he wasn’t going to drink. He had his car there, he couldn’t drink. Ten minutes later he was ripping Adams juul and passing around the bottle he had planned to bury himself in that night. 

His stumbling body meandered through the crowd on the back deck of the strangers house he happened to be at. Drifting between Hunks small circle of him, his lady, and a handful of mutual friends, then to Shiros small circle of friends. The alcohol was hitting him hard now, and Lance was having trouble seeing, he was so drunk. 

Lance, out of alcohol, decided to pester Hunk for beer. Hunk was reaching the level of drunk Lance was, and bought him a beer from some teen that was selling. Lance remembers taking the first sip before he walked to Shiro who was barely tipsy, and laughing with Pidge. Pidge was only BARELY vertical, and Lance was having the time of his life mocking him. “Why am I looking down?” His body leaned backwards without his permission, so he grabbed onto Shiros shoulder and spilled plenty of beer on him. Pidge was more drunk than Lance, and burst out laughing. The two laughed together, blissfully out of it. 

That’s the last thing Lance remembers as he looked at the nurse grabbing his arm. “What the fuck?” he mumbled, looking around with a furrowed brow. Lance tried to pull his IV out, feeling dizzy at the sight of a needle. His dad grabbed his hand, and he gave in without much of a fight. Knowing he had alcohol poising, Lance decided to close his eyes and drift back to sleep. 

Five hours later, Lance was shuffling to the car and home with his parents at the wheel. He couldn’t imagine the punishment that was to follow this night. There’s no way he’d come out with his head. 

Memories flooded back to him as the headlights of oncoming cars flashed past him. There was someone- a guy, at least Lance thinks so. As a stupidly hilarious drunk, Lance liked to name the people he was near. He could barely picture the people’s faces he spoke to, considering while he was drunk his eyes somewhat stopped working. 

He could barely make out the face he was close to last night. His body drunkenly stumbled into Hunks friend many times that night. Vague images and ideas flashed through his head, one of them being telling the mystery man he enjoyed mango smoothies many times. A few more were flashing in his head, one of which was him being shoved into a chair and pointing at the girl from school he barely knew,and knowingly informing her that her name was Romelle. He fell back into the chair and fought his captors to stand back up again. This was only two sips into the beer he finished. 

An even blurrier picture flashed into his mind. He could see the mystery man standing there, and couldn’t make out his face. “Hey I know your name,” Lance slurred, telling him his own name for about the eight time. He yanked the guy down by his shirt and connected their lips. His vision went black until he was being forced into a car by friends. 

Hunk, who he knew he had lent his keys to, most likely to have sex in his car with his girlfriend, was nowhere to be seen. “Get the fuck in the car.” Lance struggled against the forceful hands of Veronica shoving him into the back of her car. Lance, wasted out of his mind, used his body as a human shield to fling himself out of the car, only to be shoved back in. 

Veronica climbed into the backseat with him, shouting at him to be quiet over his own screaming. She wasn’t angry, but her sober patience was running thin. She yelled at him for a long time, with Lance crying about his fight with his ex-best friend. He couldn’t help the true words of his suicidal tendencies from slipping out. He cried to her, and somehow Lotor ended up in the car on the other side of him, restraining him from physically fighting Veronica to let him leave the car. 

“Lotor-“ Lance could barely speak full words as tears rolled down his face. “That’s why your face is purple! You’re wonderful,” a heartfelt apology to a friend turned enemy, that made complete sense to a heavily inebriated Lance. Lotor in purple Halloween costume face paint, just said, “I know,” with tears in his eyes. Years of memories with Lance touched he front of his brain, all overshadowed by Lances screaming and hurt voice from only two weeks ago. 

Lance kept struggling until he informed the group that he was about to throw up. Veronica and Lotor let Lance lean over Veronica’s lap to vomit our the door. He was then dragged out of the car up to Lotors front porch. The party was confidently up the street from Lotors house, and Lance couldnt remember leaving the party. 

A friendly face greeted him as he was dragged up the walkway and over the grass, going in and out of consciousness. He could see James carry him from behind as Veronica walked beside him. People were talking around him as he felt his body go completely limp one moment, only to be fine the next. 

After time spent on the porch, alternating between drinking water, then throwing up clear liquid ten seconds later, mostly water and a good percentage liquor. He did drink of an empty stomach, after all. 

The next moment he was looking into the eyes of the nurse as he was being pushed into a hospital bed. 

God there was no way he was seeing November 1st.


	2. Halloween Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance didn’t just get drunk on a whim. His life was a slippery slope of awful the night before Halloween, and Halloween day. With a huge wave of depression settling over him the last few days of October, he couldn’t help but get absolutely obliterated on Halloween.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Excuse the typos, also if you can’t follow the jumping around lmk and I’ll comment a timeline lmaooo my mind runs a mile a minute and nothing ever seems to be in order. Anyway this is kind a just Halloween day and the night before, aka what brought lance to he party and later on the hospital. We also are finna see some Allura and lance Tea development in this chapter and especially next chapter. We also finna see some Lotor/Allura/lance backstory but they’re not a threesome I’m just too tired and also lazy to write the commas and spaces to abide by proper English grammatical functions.

Lance, an awful driver, turned down Adams street to drop him off at his house after school. “What the fuck?” Hunk looked at his phone from shotgun, bringing attention from whatever crappy song was playing over the speakers. “What?” “No it’s nothing Adam, it’s just a group chat that Lance and I are in, with my grilfriend, Allura, and a few others that were gonna hang out tonight. Allura is just being weird.”

Lance pulled up to the curb in front of Adams house, to which Adam responded, “that’s real weird. I’ll text you guys at like five what Pidge, Shiro, and I are doing.” Hunk nodded, still looking down at his phone. “See you at the party,” Lance said through Hunks open window, before watching Adam walk up to his front door. 

Lance opened the group chat to see a handful of long, grey messages. He had suggested asking to park down by Lotors house to avoid the crowds at the actual party, even though he and Lotor hadn’t talked in weeks. Allura, angry, told him that he and Hunk were selfish assholes who never thought about others. She very obviously stated that Lance wasn’t welcome at Lotors, even though Lance wasn’t just parking for himself. He was parking for Hunk, not to mention other people Lotor was friends with. She didn't seem to care, and left the group chat. 

Lance tried so hard not to cry. After weeks of feeling like their relationship was off, not to mention going through some of the worst weeks of his life, he could barely keep himself composed enough to get Hunk home. Years of being the one of the closest people to Allura, almost an inseparable pair, wrecked in a month. 

Lance had spent the week before Halloween driving in the dark. He spent so many nights wasting dozens of gallons of gas, just driving on back roads around town. He thought about the weird interactions he had with Allura, how she seemed so distant and so quiet. Now, with the overt anger he could clearly see that the friendship was over and there was nothing he could do. He had spent WEEKS thinking about her and what was going on with her. He even texted her asking if they were in a fight, only to never receive a response. 

Lance could picture the night before, October 30th, as he drove down a back street. He was crying his was through an Ed Sheehan song when a giant figure appeared in his headlights. He let out an ear splitting scream as the raccoon disappeared under his car. He was screaming loud enough to drown out the screech of the brakes, then threw his car in park and slammed the hazards on so hard his finger ached. He scrambled out of the car, sobbing hysterically the entire sprint to the spot that he saw the animal. 

Nothing. There was nothing. Lance ran almost half a mile up the road, even though he pulled over mere seconds after seeing the animal and there was no way it could’ve been that far up the road. He could barely see his car as he ran back to it, completely blinded by the tears flooding his vision and threatening to knock his contacts out. He collapsed against the door that he didn’t have the strength to open. The raccoon was okay, and not crushed in the road. Lance still couldnt help the overwhelming feeling of sadness he felt. Already being at quite possibly the worst point of his life, this didn’t exactly make him feel better. 

With shanking hands, he drove to the Main Street in town. He sped down the road reaching almost 80 miles an hour in a 35, not even caring about what he was doing. He could practically see his car flipping and going sailing into the bushes. He laughed at the thought of Lotor crying over his body, wishing he hadnt stayed silent while Lance was alive. With the blinker almost permenatly on, alternating between right and left as lance swerved through traffic, he drove. He wished he could send his car sailing off the hill near his house, but resented the fact that people would just say he was the idiot who couldn’t drive. Like always. 

He made jokes about being a bad driver, but it was true. ADHD preventing him from being focused on the road when people were in the car, he was quite possibly the worst driver. As someone who had gotten in two accidents before, he was aware of it and couldn’t do anything to stop himself. Every time someone made a joke about him being being a bad driver, he felt such overwhelming sadness and shame that he couldn’t tell anyone about, because it was his own fault he couldn’t drive. Teen drivers were bad, and he’d only had his license for 3 and ½ months when Halloween rolled around, and was barely 17. 

He couldn’t die in a car crash. Besides, his parents could barely afford his car anyway, they’d be bankrupt if he wrecked it. He couldn’t do that to them, especially when his moms second back surgery was a few months away. 

Stuck in his own head, Lance drove home and slammed his car into park next to the curb. He climbed through the door and slammed his keys in the key bowl on the table by the door. His father, asleep on the couch, assuming where he was waiting for Lance to get home, snored his way through the creaking of the front door. Lance walked to the dining room where his mattress was laying on the floor. His room quarantined while the heat was broken, and had been since mid-October. The perfect timing, right when his life went to absolute shit. 

He collapsed onto the mattress only to find a tiny beetle crawling in his blankets. Barely containing a yelp, he desperately swatted it out of the covers. Tears flooded down his face as he tried not to wake his dad in the other room. He fell asleep with a damp circle on his pillow next to the temple that was touching it. 

The next morning, too early and too cold, dragged Lance to school. Mindlessly going through the motions, he threw on his clothes that were stacked in a laundry basket on his moms floor. A sad excuse for a Halloween costume, Lance wore a mothman T-shirt to class. After picking up Veronica from her house a five minute drive past the school, then drove both of them back to the building and luckily got stuck with the worst spot he could fathom. Numbly, Lance got his backpack from the seat behind him, and followed Veronica to the building through the rows of cars. 

With a double lab period starting off his excellent day, his AP bio teacher gave him a hassle when he and Veronica tried to leave ten minutes early. He didn’t know that he and Veronica, both in marching band, were doing a show for the younger kids at the elementary school during their free period. Lance, annoyed he was losing his free period, just mindlessly followed Veronica. They got on the luxury yellow school bus that didn’t work when it was first purchased, and still doesn’t three decades later. 

He sat alone. Well he actually sat with a friend in awkward silence, and felt awful that he was ruining his friends bus ride by not even attempting a conversation. Unable to muster the energy to even ask how her day was going, he just stared blankly at the seat in front of him. When they got there, he filed off the bus in numb silence. He continued being a hush of himself, when he spotted Hunk. 

He watched Hunk, a guy he had always admired. A guy he had liked since sophomore year, all the way through his 2 year relationship with his ex. Lance could see the first night that made him cry recently behind his eyelids. Hunks face lit up by signs of businesses, the smoothie Lance had bought him in his hand. He could hear Hunks voice as he talked about the sweet sixteen he went to the night before, and how he was basically dating he girl who had just turned sixteen. Lance had tried so hard to be happy for him, and acted as such, but deep inside he could feel his heart shatter. Lance had waited two goddamn years for him, and there he was just moving on like lance didn’t matter. He knew hunk liked men, and it wasn’t fair that he didn’t like Lance. 

Lance couldn’t see Hunk as he was standing there, he could only see the dimly lit image of Hunk in his shotgun, smiling at him while they waited at the red light. It wasnt hard to see the ghost of hunk walk over to Lance and pull him in. The ghost of Hunk would put his hands in lances pockets, and he would leave little kisses on lances cheek. The real Hunk didn’t see Lance sitting at the table while the band director made an announcement. 

Lance and his section made their way down to the elementary schools auditorium, while Hunk and the other section leaders stayed behind. Lance sat all the way in the last row, four seats in, not intending to be sat next to. A few friends from his section sat near him, including Veronica who sat with a friend of hers a row ahead of lance. The kick line stretched on the stage while the players warmed up in scattered seats around the room. Color Guard was doing arm circles in the back while the baton twirlers leaned over to touch their toes as stretching. 

Lance didn’t lift his instrument for the G major scale, or even the A minor scale, and just stared at the cracked, graffiti covered seat in front of him. He saw Allura sit with his friends. The ones he was closer to, not her. He wanted to feel angry but felt nothing. She hadn’t talked to him all week and he was feeling unspeakably lonely. He and Allura were identical, inseparable, until she decided they weren’t. Lance didn’t want to admit it, but he had feelings for her. Knowing that the girl you’ve been in love with for eight months hates you adds a new layer of depression to his life. 

He wanted to go talk to his friends but without energy, he never left his seat. He didn’t want to ruin her day, after all it was Halloween, and he couldn’t hate her just yet. 

When the showcase had finished, and they were walking back to the bus, Lance caught up with Hunk. “So what’s going on later?” Lance asked, mostly because their little group was incapable of making plans. Millennials. 

“Don’t know. We should go to that party over by Lotors house, I think my girlfriend wants to come and actually get to hang out with you guys. She barely knows you other than the Halloween group chat.” Hunk smiled at Lance, dissipating most of the lethargy that threatened to consume Lance. “You know I’ve been feeling so depressed all morning-“ Lance said, as a grin slowly creeped onto his face, “but I’m actually so excited to go to this party.” Even if I have to hang out with my competition. 

Hunk smiled and looked at him sincerely, which didn’t happen often, as they weren’t exactly the emotional kind of friends. Not like he and Allura were. “I’m happy for you.” Genuine smiles followed this, as the two went back to the bus to the high school. 

The day flew by, and before Lance knew it, he was fooling around in the parking lot, trying to get his two idiot friends in the car and get home. “We’re meeting at Hunks house at 6, right?” Lance turned to see Hunks girlfriend, who left a kiss on his cheek. “Yeah,” Adam said, before throwing his bag across the back seat to the side he wasn’t sitting on. 

She left without much more small talk, and the three of them began their journey home. Only after they dropped Adam off did Lances day turn even worse, especially when he sat alone in his dining room with tears covering his cheeks. Lance sent a text to Veronica, who he had plans with, and canceled saying he wasn’t going out that night, especially after his fight with Allura. He napped for maybe three hours before he was woken up by a phone call from Hunk who was calling to ask when Lance was coming, considering he was currently twenty minutes late. 

“I’m not going out tonight.” Hunk sighed from the other end of the phone. “Come on, it’ll be fun. We really want you to come out with us. Please.” Lance reluctantly unplugged his phone without hanging up and said, “fine, but I’m not staying. I’ll drive you guys anywhere you need but I’m not staying out with you guys.” 

Hunk sighed and said, “I’m sure she’s just having a bad couple weeks, you guys’ll be fine.” “See you in ten.” Lance hung up on Hunk and threw his phone in his pants pocket. His drive to Hunks was in silence, and stayed silent as he watched Hunks girlfriend hop out of the car dropping her off, then passionately make out with him. Lance, almost incapable of smiling, tapped the horn. 

Hunk laughed as he jumped in shotgun and his girlfriend slid in the seat behind him. “Lets go!” He cheerfully threw on his seatbelt to appease the blaring alert, while Lance reversed out of his neighborhood. Thy arrived at the party to see the host and his three dumbass friends outside of the gate to the owners backyard. He had Hunks girlfriend, a junior, pay an entry fee for being an underclassmen. Lance naturally got swept up in the moment, and woke up being pushed into a hospital bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey this is jumping around a lot I’m sorry. Since this is all nonfiction, I’m kinda writing it as the memories come back to me so this’ll be a little Bitcoin messy I’m sorry. Also Keith isn’t in the doc yet but I promise he’ll be here in like one or two chapters and it’ll be an excellent grand entrance. 
> 
> Also I didn’t edit this even a lil so pls pretend typos ain’t real <3

**Author's Note:**

> This isn’t even loosely based off my life, this is my life exactly as it was. That’s ahy people are ooc because I tried to match them as close as I could. 
> 
> Yeah anyway I wrote this while watching a TikTok compilation and it’s lowkey just me journaling how I fell in love with my boyfriend so please ignore any typos you see. 
> 
> I might adjust the characters too and if I do, I’ll put it in the first notes on the next chapter yeah this fic is a mess I’m sorry


End file.
